The Package
by midnightwriter1898
Summary: Could one small package change Drake's dating future forever?
1. It all begins

**Chapter One**

**1._It all begins..._ **

**Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own D&J.**

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Drake! There's a package for you!" Audrey Parker-Nichols, Drake's mother, yelled.

"Coming!" Drake shouted back. He put his guitar down and jumped from his bed to the couch. Hurrying downstairs, he took the package from his mother and examined it as he went back to his room. His step brother, Josh Nichols, was sitting on his own bed when Drake came back in.

"Who's it from?" Josh asked. As Drake shook it gently, something thumped inside the box.

"I don't know. There's no return address." Drake said in confusion.

"Well, open it!"

"Okay. Let's see what's inside." Drake opened the box and dumped the contents out onto his lap.

"A headless teddy bear?" Drake picked up the toy, sounding a little worried. "And a note."

"Read the note!"

"Okay. Here's what it says:

**_Drake, here's what I'm going to do to you since you broke my heart._**

What?" Drake yelped, jumping up and tossing the letter away from him, as if it were poisonous.

"That's a pretty serious letter, Drake. Which girl did you dump this time?" Josh sighed. He always knew that one day his brother would get into trouble.

"Let me check." Drake said, pulling out a list that went down to the floor. Josh stared, dumbfounded.

"Well, yesterday there was Stephanie, before that there was Hannah, before that there was Olivia, then –"

"Huh? Drake, with a list that long you're never going to find out who sent this!" Josh exclaimed.

"Boy, do I know! I mean, I've gone out with every girl from school at least once! What if by accident I go out with this girl?"

"I don't know, but if I were you I'd watch my back." Josh said. Drake nodded, shivering.

* * *

"Maybe Megan tried to prank you?" Josh asked. 

"I wouldn't be surprised. She's such a brat! Remember when she put Dad's special liver in our shoes?" Drake shivered at the memory.

"Yeah. And then she told Dad we threw it out. Boy, she got us in trouble."

"Well, I'll go ask her." Drake got up and went to Megan's room hesitantly.

"Megan?" He called.

"What up, boob?" Megan appeared at her door, an annoyed look on her face.

"Did you try to scare me again? I just got a headless teddy bear and a creepy note, and I _know _you have something to do with it."

"Drake," Megan shook her head and stared at him, "do you honestly think _I _would do something like that?"

"Yes!"

"Well, I didn't. I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, leave my room before I make you."

"Oh, yeah, _you'll_ make_ me_? Ha ha ha –" Drake began, but stopped as he was suddenly electrocuted.

"Owwwwww!" He yelped, jumping and running back to his room.

"Megan's such a witch! She claims she didn't do it, but I think she did!"

"Yeah, she is rotten."

* * *

Later on that evening, Drake was in a panic mode. 

"I have a date with Alicia, but what if the person who sent me that package shows up? Or what if she's the one? She didn't seem too happy after out last date." he exclaimed as he paced back and forth.

"Dude, don't worry. I'm sure it wasn't her."

"But what if? I've gotta call and break up with her." Drake said, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket.

"What?"

"I can't go out with her! What if she sent me that package?"

"Well… but you can't just end a relationship with a phone call."

"I know. I'm going to text message her." Drake said.

"Look, Drake…"

"Okay. Now that that's done."

"You broke up with Alicia using a _text message_?"

"Yep! Isn't technology today amazing? Now I don't even have to call her to dump her!"

"Ohh, Drake, when are you going to start considering other people's feelings?"

"Huh?"

* * *

A week later, Drake still was terrified to go out with anyone. He hadn't been on a date at all. 

"Come on! That package could have been from _anybody_. Hey, there still is the possibility that Megan's setting us up."

"I know, but if it wasn't Megan, and I accidentally go out with the person who sent me this you might be identifying my body at the morgue." Drake said, holding up the headless teddy bear.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous!"

"I just won't date _anyone_, Josh, I won't do it!

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**_Hee hee... I'm back! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Please read & review!_**


	2. Have a nice drive

**Chapter Two**

**_2. Have a nice drive_**

**Disclaimer: I HATE disclaimers with a fiery passion. I mean, think about the name of the site: "FanFICTION". Does it take a genius to figure out none of us owns Drake & Josh?**

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Drake was true to his word.

He wouldn't go _anywhere _with _anyone _at _anytime_. And even though Josh thought it was cool to be hanging out with his brother more, he could tell Drake wasn't really happy about it.

"Oh, I'm going to lose my popularity if I don't start going out again. Already I've had to turn down about ten dates. Girls are starting to look at me weird." Drake groaned.

"Dude, being popular doesn't mean everything." Josh shrugged.

"**_What_**?"

"Okay, maybe it does to you."

Drake smiled. "For once," He said dramatically, "you're right!"

Josh shook his head.

* * *

"Hey, I'm going to go to the Premiere to meet the guys." Drake said. "Later!"

"Bye, Drake! Have a good time!" Audrey yelled after him.

Drake walked out to his car and opened his door. He started to get in but stopped when he noticed a piece of paper on the seat.

He picked it up and was surprised to find writing on it. He unfolded it and read it:

**_Have a nice drive_**.

"What?" Drake panicked immediately. What if he got down the road and the brakes didn't work? Or what if his engine failed while he was on the highway? Or…

Thousands of possibilities were running through his head while he was checking his car. Even though he couldn't find anything, he still was nervous.

"I'm not taking my car." He finally decided, "In fact, I'm just staying here today."

* * *

Drake was just reaching for his guitar when suddenly he stopped. It was Saturday evening and he was laying in his room doing nothing, like he always did on Saturdays ever since he'd received the letter, but he had a feeling that Megan was the culprit.

"Yo, boob." Megan said, walking out.

"Hey! Megan, what are you doing in our room?"

"None of your beeswax." Megan retorted.

"You'd better not be setting up any of your pranks! If you are -"

"I am, for Josh!"

"Oh, cool! Can I help?"

"Whatever." Megan rolled her eyes.

"So, what are we doing?"

"Just what I said, you boob! Pranking Josh!"

"How can I help?" Drake asked.

"See that TV remote over there?" She asked, pointing.

"Yeah."

"Did you notice that it isn't normally in here?"

"Noooo…"

"Come on Drake, do I have to spell this out for you?"

"Would you?"

"Look, Drake, that remote over there, it isn't _really _a remote.You press this button," Megan explained, showing Drake a big red button that was on the remote, "and Josh gets zapped."

"Ohhh… okay, how did you get a remote that's not really a remote with a button that sends electrical currents?"

"That doesn't matter." Megan said. "Now, when Josh goes to bed, make sure you press the button. I'm trusting you to do something that simple. Don't screw up."

"Okay. Now, hurry, Josh will be home any minute. Get out of our room before he sees you!"

"I'll come and go as I please." Megan said. "And no one will stop me. Understood, _Drake_? Because I have dreams. And when I dream those dreams, things happen to you."

"Oh, okay." Drake stuttered, not wanting to experience those "dreams" she was talking about.

* * *

"Hey, Drake!" Josh said, entering the room just after Megan left.

"Josh." Drake replied, sitting on his bed while playing his guitar.

"So… what did you do today?"

"Played a little guitar, watched a little TV, ate lots of junk food, what about you?"

"I served customers, got Helen a few hot dogs, and served some more customers!"

"Sounds like my day was better." Drake turned his attention back to his guitar.

"Come on. I like working at the movie theater."

"Yeah. Whatever, man. Now, I got to go to sleep. I've got a busy day tomorrow."

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing. And that can really sap your energy, Josh. I should know, since I haven't been on out a date in, like, _months_!"

"Okay, forget I asked. So, let's go to sleep. I see what you mean. I'm kind of tired too."

"Sleep tight, Josh." Drake said, making sure that Josh had turned the light off before giving him a Megan-type smile.

He waited quietly until Josh was asleep, and then pressed the button.

"**_Ouch_**!" Josh yelped, jumping out of the bed.

"What happened? Did Megan put more snakes in your bed?"

"No! But I think she set something up. I just got **_zapped_**!" He exclaimed.

"Such a small, 11-year-old girl shouldn't be able to do this sort of stuff."

"She's evil! **_Evil_**!"

"Yep. Now go back to bed, Josh."

Drake waited again until Josh was sleeping then shocked him again. Josh sprang up, yelping, "She did it again!" Drake held back a chuckle and continued his routine until he got bored.


	3. At the mall

**Chapter Three**

**_3. At the mall_**

**Disclaimer: Don't own D&J. What a shocker!**

**Drake: _Josh, I think midnightwriter1898's being startastic._**

**Josh: _Sarcastic!_**

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So, did you sleep well last night?" Drake teased. Josh glared at him. 

"You know. Like, the whole night Megan was zapping my butt!"

"You should have seen how you jumped the third time!"

"Yeah, yeah, keep making fun of me. Thanks so much for being on my side. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were helping Megan!"

"Ha, ha, ha! You are so funny! Josh, honestly, are you sick or something? _Me _help _Megan_? Yeah, I'm the main victim of her pranks!"

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. And, no, _I'm _the main victim of her evil little pranks. And sometimes I even fall victim to your abnormal behavior!"

"That's an exasperation!"

"_Exaggeration_!" Josh corrected.

"Oh, what's the difference?" Drake asked.

"There's a big difference! Exasperation means actions that cause great feelings of irritation; Exaggeration is making something sound more important than it really is!" Josh stated.

"Oh, who cares?"

"You should!"

"Josh, you are talking to me, right?"  
"Who else would I be talking to?"

"You imaginary friend?"

"Drake."

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Oh, never mind. Just stop acting in an exasperating manner!"

"Wait, I though that was exaggeration."

"Drake!"

* * *

"Hey, Josh, could you drive me to the mall?" Drake asked. He was too embarrassed to tell Josh he was afraid to drive his car since he'd received the note. 

"Will you stop pestering me?" Josh looked at Drake. Drake thought for a moment.

"Not until you take me."

"Okay. Let's go." Josh said. He grabbed his keys and the brothers walked to Josh's car.

* * *

Josh tapped his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently. 

"Hurry up, Drake." He muttered. Man, why had he said he'd wait for Drake?

"Okay, that's it. I'm not waiting in the car any longer. I'll go find him." He decided, getting out of the car and entering the mall.

He searched for about a half an hour before he found Drake at the food court, buying a corndog.

"Hi, Drake."

"Oh, Josh, I thought I told you to wait in the car. People will see us."

"Yeah, but I was really bored. Come on, Drake, you've been here for…" Josh looked at his watch, "two hours."

"So?"

"So! You made me sit in the car for an hour and a half!"

"Whatever, man. Now, leave!"

"No!"

"Fine! Be that way!" Drake shot back. Josh turned his back to Drake.

Drake put his corndog down at a table and turned his back to Josh, looking at some red-haired girl. When Drake did turn back around, his eyes widened. A bite was missing from his corndog.

"Josh! You know I don't like you getting your saliva all over my corndogs! If you were hungry you should have just got one yourself." He exclaimed.

"What? I didn't take a bite from your corndog. I don't even like corndogs!" Josh said.

"Come on Josh. That wasn't nice!"

"I swear! I didn't do it!"

"Well, if it wasn't you, who was it?"

"I don't know! Man, why do you blame me for everything?"

"Look, Josh, I know you did it."

"Drake, why would I take a bite of your corndog?"

"Why _wouldn't _you?"

"I didn't do it!"

"Whatever, man."

Drake was utterly convinced Josh had taken a bite of his corndog until he remembered the headless teddy bear and all the notes. Maybe the person who had sent those had been the one who took a bite of his corndog.

_Oh man,_ Drake thought, _I'm being stalked! _He looked around quickly, but didn't see anyone he recognized. Little did he know, his stalker was right there in the mall with him, watching him.

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_**Left a littl cliffy for you all to enjoy (laughs sarcastically "as if any of us enjoys cliffhangers!" )Well, anyway, I know this chapter isn't that long. sorry anyway, hope you enjoyed it. R&R **_


	4. Poison in your sleep

**Chapter Four**

_**4. Poison in your sleep**_

**Disclaimer: Don't own Drake & Josh.**

**Drake: _Obviously! I would _never _be afraid of a girl_!**

**Josh: _Actually... you're forgetting midnightwriter1898_**

**Drake: _Oh yeah... _**

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Later on that evening Drake was still in a panic mode. He knew Josh hadn't taken the bite from his corndog, so the only other possibility was that that person had done it. And now it was really freaking him out.

Later on that evening Drake was still in a panic mode. He knew Josh hadn't taken the bite from his corndog, so the only other possibility was that person had done it. And now it was really freaking him out. 

"Oh, who is it, who is it, who is it? Why is she so mad at me? And why is she stalking me?" Drake muttered to himself. He couldn't even leave his own house because of the fact he was afraid of what she would do to him.

Drake paced from one side of his room to the other.

"Drake, you gotta stop that." Josh came in to the room.

"I know. But I can't get over what happened today."

"That thing at the mall? Don't worry about it. It was probably just some kid running by."

"But I have this really weird feeling that it's the person who sent me that package and gave me those notes."

"It could be." Josh said thoughtfully.

"It _is_!" Drake shivered. "And she is stalking me!"

"_Stalking _you? Really funny, Drake. She's not _stalking _you!" Josh laughed.

"I'm not kidding! She's stalking me! Everywhere I go she's watching me. She's tampering with my car, sending me scary notes, and taking bites from my corndogs! Next, she'll come in when I'm sleeping and kill me!" Drake yelled.

"Drake! Drake, snap out of it!" Josh said, shaking Drake.

"Whoa, thanks Josh." Drake said, trying to calm himself.

"No problem."

* * *

Drake was sleeping soundly that night, cuddled up in bed with his pillows. At about midnight, though, he started tossing and turning. Suddenly a voice floated to him in his sleep. 

"_Drake! Drake! I know where you live! You won't stay away from me for long_!" The voice said.

"What –" Drake jumped up and the voice stopped. "Who said that?"

No one responded.

"Drake? What are you doing awake at midnight?" Josh's sleepy voice drifted to Drake.

"Oh, just had a dream." Drake said, rolling over and falling back asleep.

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_**Yeah, yeah, I know it's really, really, really short, but I promise the next chapter will be longer! Sorry again! **_


	5. Secrets Revealed

**Chapter Five**

**_5. Just leave me alone!_**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Drake & Josh. Shocking, isn't it?**

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"Megan! Hey, what are you doing now?" Drake asked, striding across the room to where Megan knelt by the heater.

"Oh, nothing." She said, quickly turning around and putting her hands behind her back.

"I know you're doing something. I just don't know what."

"Well, let's keep it that way." Megan said, turning him back around and pushing him away.

"No! I'm bored! Hey – want some help?"

"Oh, wow. What an offer! Some help from _you_? Yeah right!"

"Aww, come on, Megan! I've nothing better to do!"

"Oh, fine!" She said, rolling her eyes dramatically.

"Ohh, goodie! What do you want me to do?"

"Tell me if you see anyone coming."

"Stand guard? Oh cool!"

Megan rolled her eyes again and went back to disconnecting the heater.

* * *

Drake continued to "help" Megan for another week until finally she couldn't handle him any more. 

"_Will you just go away_?" She yelled. "You're driving me crazy!"

"But, Megs, I'm really, really, really, bored!"

"Then go bug Josh or some one else!"

"But, Josh is working at the Premiere!"

"_Just go away_!"

"_No_!"

"Look, Drake, why don't you just date, anyway?"

"I _will not_!"

"Drake, you're taking this too seriously! It's just a prank! Come on, how much longer are you going to stay home and drive me crazy?"

"Until I figure out – wait, what did you just say?"

"So, Mindy and I pulled a prank on you! Why are you sticking to me like glue?"

"You and Mindy were pranking me! The headless teddy bear, the notes, the bitten corndog, the voice in my sleep, you guys set this all up?"

"Yes! Now go away!"

"Not until you tell me why you were pranking me!"

"Look, it was Mindy's prank. I was only helping out because it was just too good to pass up."

"But… but, why was Mindy pranking me?"

"Why don't you ask her yourself? She's coming over to see Josh later on!"

"Fine! I will!"

* * *

Mindy walked in the front door. 

"Hey, Josh. Drake." Mindy smiled.

"Creature." Drake replied

"D minus."

"D plus!"

"Hey, Josh, I was wondering if –"

"I can't believe you, Mindy!" Drake interrupted.

"What?"

"Why did you prank me?"

"How did he find out?" Mindy asked, looking at Megan.

"It sort of slipped out. He was driving me berserk and I yelled at him and ended up telling him." Megan shrugged.

"So, why did you do it?" Drake asked, demanding an answer.

"Because," Mindy said matter-of-factly, "I think you disrespect women by viewing them as objects to be toyed with. And I think you need to learn a lesson."

"Ohhh, okay." He said slowly. He had no idea what Mindy had just said, but that didn't matter because now he could start dating again.

Drake got up and began to walk away.

"What are you doing?" Mindy asked.

"I have to do something important." Drake replied, picking up the kitchen phone. "Hello, Brittney, would you like to go out tonight?"

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	6. Brittney

**Chapter Six**

**_6. Brittney_**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Drake & Josh for the billionth time. **

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Drake suddenly stood up and started out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Josh asked.

"To do something important." He said, picking up the phone and dialing a number. When the person answered, he smiled.

"Hi, Brittney, it's Drake. Do you want to go out tonight?"

* * *

Drake and Brittney went out to a restaurant that night. It turned out Drake had really taken Mindy's words to heart, because he was polite to Brittney; put her feelings before his, and when the night was over, he asked if she wanted to go out again tomorrow. 

"No." She replied.

"What?"

"You heard me. You're just like all the other guys. In fact, you're even more boring. I thought you were more of a challenge. I'm breaking up with you!" Brittney said, getting up and walking away.

"But – wait, I'm not really like this! Give me another chance…"

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**_Sorry the last chapter's so short, but I couldn't resist! (as i like to say, I can resist everything... except TEMPTATION!_**


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